So Much More Than This

Truth derived from happy and hard times.



It’s been a while my dear readers. I’ve missed you all so.

I’ve missed writing the few and far in-between blog posts.

So many things have happened in the last couple of months of my life. I guess what I mean by a couple, is more so like the last three to four months of my life.

As many of you know, I’ve stuck with my internship I began in the summer with UrbanPromise Wilmington. Read about it here I’m Back UP. 1 & Beauty Within the Cracks-UP. 2.

It has been five long, difficult, and rewarding months. Time has not relented its grip on my asking for it to speed up this internship and I find myself wondering if things would be easier or would have been easier if time moved on an axis of my control and not God’s.

The funny, but not really funny thing is that…

View original post 420 more words


Fearing Me.

I. Am. Scared. It is so easy to run to these three words, to tuck your tail in-between your legs and cower behind or from the seemingly impossible. Especially when the seemingly impossible is racism, and not the racism spoken of in the ‘haven’ of our history books, but the racism occurring in our hometowns—in our neighborhoods. Being a twenty-two-year-old black woman I have experienced racism and have had my share of talks concerning the this and that of racism: African-American men and boys being killed; what to do and say when pulled over by those meant to serve and protect; the injustices of policeman not being persecuted for murder; which race is the ‘true’ victim or perpetrator in today’s act of violence; who is wrong and who is right. Yet, in these talks and experiences what I unquestionably hear is I am scared. I am scared of something that is different. I am scared to stand up for what is right, what is just. I am scared to be placed in a position where I fear for my life. Son, I am scared for you to walk outside because of the color of your skin. Whether the “I am scared” comes from self-righteous fear or justified fear, it is both obstructive and dangerous. With self-righteous fear, we confine ourselves in a box that says, we aren’t capable to love what is different—a difference in melanin—and we use such fear to strike out what we do not want to accept. With the justified fear, it can easily be turned into unjustified hate and bitterness and into a life of unrest. Thus, confining us ourselves in an area in life where we can no longer live our lives out in peace nor in love. But, with all that has been written, there is only one who can eliminate the “I am scared”, and that is Jesus. Where it is so easy to run to the three words of fear, it is also that easy to run to the healer and eliminator of all fear and the baggage which comes with fear. There have been moments where I was scared, but I pushed the fear aside with the knowledge that Jesus is the liberator of fear and of the I am scared moments; and in return, Jesus gives me love for those who cause the fear. Where I have said those three words: I. Am. Scared. Jesus responded with: I. Am. Peace; I. Am. Love.


Thanks and a special shout out to RadicallyCarolyn blog for inviting me to guest write this piece on her page. Check out her page!

Slaying the Dragon and Moving Forward

Memories, when we dare to dive into them, can be both dangerous and magical. Dangerous because you may not have slayed the dragon roaming through your mind as you thought; and over the years, as you peeked in on it to see if it was indeed hibernating, you have been feeding it, causing it to grow stronger from your fear of it. In doing this, it waits for the day it can overpower you, its creator.

Though danger can dwell in some memories, there is a sense of magic in them as well. Looking back on prized and cherished memories brings about wonder and awe of a life well lived and of more wonder-filled years to come. A good memory is like dipping one’s feet into a cool pool on a summer day. When the sole of your feet meets the tranquil water, your entire being feels better. Which is what a good memory seeks to accomplish—making calm a ruffled mind.

Through the good and the bad memories learn to realize that each memory, regardless of its status, compliments the other—without the good and without the bad, you would not be who you are. They have shaped you into you. But do allow the memories to become your present. Once and for all, slay the dragon and let it not lurk in the recesses of your memory any longer. Never rest on a handful of great and cherished memories, letting them coast you through the rest of your years. Move into the future with the goal to create more and even better wondrous memories.

The Deformity of “We”

Masks. The wise claim we all wear them—some to protect and some to project. But what else can be the angel who wields a sword to fight our battles, and what else can be the demon who strikes down our “enemies”. Yet in those some, we fail to see me; for the mask has never been removed and the molding of it onto my skin has long been chipped from memory. Though my face and it may have met to form an invincible defense, now, no matter the strength of my pull, it has become embedded in my skin. “Be careful,” the wise utter, “because the mask you wear as a covering can quickly and oh so easily become who you are.”

—O. D. M

Quote for the Day with a Poem!!

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.

Harriet Tubman

Dream of us a life

Where our reality

Shatter illusions



Let reality be your dreams in fruition, and do not follow illusions. Illusions may be appealing at first, but once that fantasy is revealed as just that, you will have nothing left but a mirage of what you thought you could have. So, dream big—wonderful, fanciful dreams—and allow them to become a part of your reality. In the process, you just may shatter the illusions brought on by you and others and change the world.

P.S. From now on when I post quotes, I’m going to try and write a little something pertaining to the quote. It may be a poem about the quote, simply what I think of the quote, or what the quote means to me. In the comments let me know what you think of the Harriet Tubman’s quote. I will be happy to read them!

Don’t Punk Out

Last Saturday and for the first time, I read aloud two of my poems at a poetry reading my university put on. To say the least, I was scared.

Let me set the stage for you. It was a pretty average room, podium in the front, dotting the floors were round tables circled with chairs. Sitting in those chairs were at least five faculty from the writing department. So, this is reason enough to be scared, right? Plus, I’m not a writing major, meaning they didn’t know who I was, nor what I was capable of. Maybe this would ease some people’s mind but that wasn’t the case for me.

Also, I had just started writing poetry during the Summer and little thoughts kept asking me if I was even good enough. Of course, I questioned whether I should actually go up there and read. But quickly, somewhat quickly ;), I shoved that idea to the side, because that poetry reading would be the last of the semester. It was either now or wait a month or two until the next one, and I couldn’t punk out and not read like I did at the last meeting. (Honestly, I regretted not reading that first time.)

So, I put on my big girl boots, said a scripture or two about courage, and went up there and read. And when I did, there was an inexplicable joy after reading. I was proud of myself for not backing down, and I got the experience of reading what I put my heart into to others.

What I am trying to get at…is that no matter how scared you are of doing something; whether that is reading aloud your poetry for the first time, writing poetry or that novel that’s been pestering you, joining something new, or just trying something new, do not be afraid of it. You never know what joy could come from that experience, and you may regret not doing it (which is no way to live).

Aim to surpass your fear, not subcummb to it.

Here are two scriptures that always bring me out of fear and into the hands of the God who controls it all.

Philippians 4:13; For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength

Isaiah 41:10; Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.


What You Find When Going Through Old Docs.

Okay, so I was going through some old documents from high school and found this assignment I had to do in AP English. My teacher told the class to write a Dear John letter. Not just any ol’ Dear John letter, no. We were radomly given adjectives and had to make the letter accordingly. I picked out the word, “insluting”.

Guys, now that I’m re-reading this I went way over the top with this assignment. I mean, it’s pretty harsh. I also remember reading this aloud in class and the reactions afterward were…hilarious! Well, with all that said here’s the “Insulting Dear John Letter” I wrote. Let me know what you think, and if you’re a writer (or just think it’s fun) pick an adjective and write a Dear John letter from it!

“Dear John,

You are a weak, simple minded fool. How could I have ever dated such a wimp like you? You proved the first day that I met you that you were a coward, by not asking me out yourself. You were never a man and you never will be. Every time I look at you, I say what in the world was I thinking. You are worthless and good for nothing and that is why we are done. Thank God I am free from this faulty man.

Sincerely, the best thing that has ever happened to you,

Octavia Mason”